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MS    my Encounter w Multiple Sclerosis    etc.    Delirium    Final Stages of Multiple Sclerosis

my Encounter w Multiple Sclerosis

December 14th, 2020
Acid Reflex . I have battled Acid Reflex since the 1990's ...
put me in the Hospital November 13, 2016 - Discharged November 25, 2016.
Since then, I have found relief with Apple Cider Vinegar.

November 11th, 2019

Very shortly after satisfying my curiosity with Multiple Sclerosis alternative remedies (which consumed valuable energies grasping at straws), I consciously decided not to give MS any more than what it was going to take and refrained from spending my time thinking about it ... until now.

November 11th, 2019
I have now lived the course of 24 years since being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I can still move my shoulders and head with feeble use of my right arm. I have struggled to keep my voice (occasionaly fails). Plus++ I can work a Computer :)

How you think about your disability IS critical. Strive to extend your communication faculties to the greatest extent possible.

Skills you have above able bodied individuals, show them off ...

(society will be all the better for it
(provide a much needed wake up call)) ... for yourself as well

November 6, 2016 . as life is in essence the discovery of self, I feel our existence is an existence in consciousness which has been ordained in nature and it IS for us to come to an understanding of these natural forces, revealing the scars from the physical plane and how they manifested in your psyche ... so as not to repeat. To one's own self be true ... true to self IS a necessity.

November 8, 2016 . when your first diagnosed you are actually told MS IS an autoimmune disease (the Truth) and in the ensuing chaos you fail to understand, and believe it's a deficit in something physical outside of your being (the Program). This results in a conscious break manifesting in denial of what is in reality true. Close relationships are veiled in belief that they need your protection and results in failure to deliberate considerably, which IS where the causal factors actually are. Personal ownership IS required to obtain insight.

The Wounded Healer

To be able to come to see whom you have become, as accurately as possible ...
HINT: you are known by Your Works.

mirror jpg

The Wounded Healer, Part 1
One of the deeper, underlying archetypal patterns which is being constellated in the human psyche that is playing itself out collectively on the world stage is the archetype of the wounded healer.
To quote Kerenyi, a colleague of Jung who elucidated this archetype, the wounded healer refers psychologically to the capacity to be at home in the darkness of suffering and there to find germs of light and recovery with which, as though by enchantment, to bring forth Asclepius, the sunlike healer.
The archetype of the wounded healer reveals to us that it is only by being willing to face, consciously experience and go through our wound do we receive its blessing.

September 8th once again

October 23rd, 2019 ... my MS diagnosis is now 24 Years in the past.

Since the spring of 2013, I have been busy working on improving my environment and memory. I have managed to turn-the-tables on multiple sclerosis through creative pursuits with persistence (firm or obstinate continuance in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition).

There is no greater sorrow ...

The Divine Comedy by Dante, Illustrated by Dante Alighieri
There is no greater sorrow than to recall happiness in times of misery. Dante Alighieri

actually ... the greatest sorrow a heart can bear is that of a woman's loss of a child. All other sorrows pale significantly in comparison.

The Compassionate Friends:
Providing Grief Support After the Death of a Child

"The Compassionate Friends is about transforming the pain of grief into the elixir of hope. It takes people out of the isolation society imposes on the bereaved and lets them express their grief naturally. With the shedding of tears, healing comes. And the newly bereaved get to see people who have survived and are learning to live and love again."

You Are Not Alone
When your child has died, suddenly it seems like all meaning has been drained from your life. When you wake in the morning, its difficult to get out of bed, much less live a normal life. All that was right with the world now seems wrong and you're wondering when, or if, you'll ever feel better.

a Brief History This Panel is also found on about.

I was born November 17th, 1951 in Saskatchewan, Canada.

When I was 44, in 1995, I was experiencing strange difficulties with my gait +.

So I went to a Neurologist and had a Myelogram (a very bad idea) which gave a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis, Secondary Progressive, September 8, 1995. An MRI sometime later confirmed the diagnosis.

At the time, I was living in Richmond, British Columbia with my wife and two young children. I was working 3 12hr shifts per week, 8pm - 8am Friday / Saturday / Sunday as a Senior Computer Operator at the University of British Columbia, Computing Center. My first day was December 8th, 1980 ... the day Beatles star John Lennon was shot down in New York.

   Beatles - While My Guitar Gently Weeps

In those early years, I worked 5 8 hour rotational shifts per week between days / evenings / nights. It was always very busy and great fun. As my wife worked days, I swapped my dayshifts for evenings if possible ... else nights, and looked after our children in my off time ... we played school.

They learned the alphabet, numbers / mathematics and some higher forms of symbolic reasoning. I took them swimming three times a week and skating twice. Chess interested them watching me play in 2001 at 12, so I taught them how to play on an electronic gameboard.

By the early 90's, technological advances had transformed the work into not much more than a babysitting job and shifts were re-organized to accommodate a 3 day 12 hour position. I knew the weekend shift would be available as nobody would be wanting it. It suited me fine for managing my failing health ... going into work only 3 days a week instead of 5, was the prime motivator.

During the summer of 1995, I took my children on a vacation to visit Grandpa in Saskatchewan (I wanted to have them experience the prairie while they were still young . you can take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy). We visited my grandparents homesteads and paid respects to our elders. I had difficulty with the cactus embedded pasture.

On our return, we stopped in Calgary to visit my sister as well as the Calgary Stampede. Leaving the Stampede Grounds for the parking lot, I could walk no further than 10 feet before needing to rest a short while.

I was in great shape, 5'7" 180 lbs and strong. I was at a loss as to what the problem was ... perhaps a pinched nerve I thought. I was learning springboard diving at UBC's pool ... 2 3 and 5 meter height ... I must have pinched a nerve. So when the Neurologist suggested a Myelogram, great, my difficulties would be discovered. Having this examination caused severe trauma.

The evening of the Myelogram was an ordeal. I needed to keep an ice pack on my head continually. Shortly after midnight, three bolts (shocks) entered dead center of the crown of my skull    

C R A C K    C R A C K    C R A C K   

They flashed down the inside core of my spine and out my tailbone.
I had no idea what was happening and pondered what I was dealing with.

I imagined being commandeered to do battle against a Horrendous Beast called Multiple Sclerosis. My life was about to be turned upside down and shaken ... for years and years. I resolved to do the best I can in confronting this challenge and got back to work after 3 days rest. I spent the next few years looking for a way out and back to health with supplements, etc. etc. ad nauseum to escape the grip of MS.

May 26, 1996, my balance was so bad, I could not responsibly perform my duties and resigned to long-term disability. Over the next 10 years, my children grew to teenagers while my condition progressed (deteriorated) from needing a Cane to Walker to Scooter to Wheelchair. I was at the end in 2005 when I was having such difficulty the stress was too great on our marriage and we separated with a great deal of anxiety (unfortunately).

With Coastal Health Home Care Support, I remained living at home with my children until the spring of 2007, when I ended up in the Emergency Room of Richmond General Hospital. Dr. T, my General doctor at the time, advised me that I was not likely going to be able to continue living on my own any longer. I was dismayed.

September 6, 2007   I moved into Minoru Extended Care facility in Richmond, British Columbia while my children rented a place on their own... that was very hard to do... options did not present themselves.

I lived there for 15 fifteen months until December 4, 2008  when I had the good fortune to move into care at Residences for Independent Living Society (RILS) in Steveston, Richmond, B.C.


I know life has a purpose which transcends the physical ...
it IS our's to discover

Richmond General Hospital Records - updated January 27, 2019

Richmond General Hospital Records entered December 22, 2015

  1. Thursday January 24, 2019 2:40 visit to Dr. P for Gaviscon prescription
    recieved a pneumonia vaccination
    Dr. P will be visiting Wendnesday January 30th to examin the sore on my left butt.
  2. Wednesday January 23, 2019
    Acid Reflex kept me awake the last two nights
    admitted RGH Given a "Pink Lady" and was told to take Gaviscon or Mallox
  3. November 13, 2016 Admitted November 25, 2016, Discharged
  4. April 6, 2014 Emergency Tender and red colon . Fever 38
  5. March 25, 2013 Admitted March 28, 2013 Discharged
    Came to Richmond Hospital with diarrhea and leukocytosis
    His stool was positive for C. Difficile
  6. March 6, 2013 Admitted March 20, 2013 Discharged
    after this event, I quite watching TV, cleaned up my suite and refreshed most of the Math I have studied from library texts
    this was the beginning of my return to sensibilities

    On March 7 Kim was significantly confused, disoriented in all 3 spheres, calling almost everyone by his daughters first name.
    Prior to his admission he had been behaving somewhat unusually and having hypomanic symptoms for approximately 1 month.
    There was no known trigger for this.
    His thoughts were disorganized and he had difficulty expressing himself.
    He was treated empirically with antibiotics for a presumed infection, although subsequently blood and urine cultures did not detect any bacterial infection.
    The working diagnosis is an acute delirium on top of an organic brain syndrome which is chronic in nature.
    His sensorium cleared over the course of a week.
    He has been quite goal-directed and able to explain his care needs in a clear and logical fashion, as well as explaining when he is having
    difficulties why the difficulties don't exist at the care facility.
  7. March 5, 2013 Emergency
  8. July 3, 2012 Emergency Insomnia / Anxiety
  9. July 8, 2012 Dr. Br Non-healing tumour on chest
  10. July 22, 2011 Ambulatory Care Iron Sucrese infusion
  11. July 5, 2011 Ambulatory Care Iron Sucrese infusion
  12. June 22, 2011 Emergency Anemia
  13. May 22, 2011 Admitted July 5, 2011 Discharged
    severe constipation
  14. May 16, 2011 Emergency Bloating
  15. September 4, 2010 Admitted September 7, 2010 Discharged
    Constipation having gagged stool
  16. August 11, 2009
    Reconstruction of carcinoma right shoulder
  17. December 4, 2008 Discharge from Minoru
    Moved to Residences for Independent Living RILS in Steveston
  18. September 6, 2007  Admitted to Minoru
  19. August 14, 2007 - Dr. Br
    Pre-Op dx Carcinoma of left upper mouth
  20. May 25, 2007 Emergency Room Dr. Ni
    This very unfortunate man aged 55 has had MS since 1995.
    He describes the course as rolling with the punches.
    This was precipitated by exacerbation of his right hand and arm which caused him to have chest tightness, cautious breathing and back pain.
    After some time he had his son call an ambulance.
    He thinks the symptoms were related to anxiety.
    He has 3 other pains which are constant.
    1/ Pressure on bones in his buttocks when sitting in his chair and cannot change position. This is predominately at steady at 2-3/00 and dull/sharp.
    2/ Hot tingling sensation left thigh. Helps to change position.
    3/ Cold feet, especially on soles. Uses a Magic Bag heated in a microwave.
    Uses a lift to transfer.
    2 hrs home support in am, 1 hr evening and 1 hr night bed care.
    Three times a week he has a suppository in am.
    He is continent of stool and urine but wears a diaper at night.
    No appetite and he eats because he has to.
    He passes urine into a large cup which is most easy for him to handle.
    Breathing is good but nose stuffed.
    He lives in handicapped dwelling with 16 and 18 yr old son / daughter.
    Wife separated last fall
  21. May 25, 2007 Emergency Room Dr. Th
    Spoke with Dr. Ha re. Kim.
    Discussed triad of pulsed steroids.
    Patient had a fever yesterday gone now.
    Patient not coping with his helplessness, pain, etc.
    I have asked Dr. Ni if he can suggest anything from a palliative point of view.
  22. May 24, 2007 Emergency Room
    Noted weakness in right arm (only functionable limb) and became anxious.
    Dr. Th He lives alone with a 16 yr old son and 18 yr old daughter. Wife left him in December. He has 2 hr help in am. for bathing etc., 1 hr in the evening for meals and 1 hr to get to bed.
    But will lie for hours without help. He is unable to shift his weight in bed. Severe pain in legs at times and cold feet.
    Home care give him Ducolax suppositories Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Wears Depends at night.
    Discussed Long Term care. Patient afraid of how his kids will cope without him.

Tears for MS

MS has brought tears of sorrow twice :

  1. the first was after diagnosis September 8, 1995,
    and then once again
  2. September 6, 2007 when I was taken from my family

I will Not shed another!

video from web camera July 2016
image from Nexus Phone November 2013 ...
8 months after March 20, 2013 RGH Discharge


Cultus Lake BCMOS Hike June 25, 2016

British Columbia Mobility Opportunities Society (BCMOS)
is an independent non-profit society dedicated to enriching the lives of people with physical disabilities through wilderness recreation.

BCMOS was founded in 1985 to make it possible for people with physical disabilities to access B.C.'s great outdoors. We operate hiking, flight, kayaking and paddleboard programs.

Since 1995, the centerpiece of BCMOS's programs has been the TrailRider, a specially designed wilderness access vehicle. With one wheel, and "sherpas" back and front, the TrailRider can tackle any terrain.

In May 2016 we will be opening a paddling centre in Vancouver, on False Creek near Science World. From there we will offer accessible paddleboard and kayak opportunities.

We are also opening a new program offering flight.

So thats adventures by land, sea and air!

Cultus Lake BCMOS Hike June 25, 2016

CultusLakeJune-25-2016(1).jpg CultusLakeJune-25-2016(2).jpg

after diagnosis September 8th, 1995

Going into the MS Clinic: it was difficult to even look at the more advanced people (it was way too close to home (Scary)). Now, I am one, and can, as I should, provide material which will assist others in replacing challenges with incredibly awsome opportunities for a bright future full of adventure and intrigue.

We create our own possibilities.

My advice to anyone facing challenging life circumstance ...

  1. Introspection to discover the Why to the beliefs you have.
    Beliefs (thoughts) which no longer make any sense to you (or appear dubious), will require some work on your part ... Time and Effort.
    This is similar to cleaning and organizing your home ... and will make fertile space for novelty to flourish in your life.
  2. Very Very Very Important:
    Exercise your Memory at ALL Times
  3. Dream BIG, then ACT on those dreams.
    You will know how (they're your dreams).
  4. Understand THIS: nobody knows what tomorrow will bring.
    However, you can be assured there will be opportunities to grow.
  5. Know THIS: you are responsible for the path you are on.

Jack Kevorkian aka "Dr. Death"

Shortly after receiving an MS diagnosis, Dr. Jack Kevorkian came on TV and assisted a young man with MS to his demise.

I had already become familiar with what the clinical pamphlets foretold of your future: blindness, paralysis, mute and impotent, incontinence etc., etc. (thoughts very fearful to an able bodied person).

Watching Dr. Kevorkian end this man's life, the main thought I came away with was:

What could possibly be so terribly bad, that this young man would seek this end ?

September 5, 2016 I feel the likelihood that Fear ! was a prime motivating factor for him is very high.

Multiple Sclerosis Is Not Terminal ... even if it were, you don't stop (especially from fear of shadows) come hell or high water.

this young man was probably literally scared to death
(how unfortunate if so).

As for me, when the time comes to leave, I'm going to laugh the heartiest laugh possible and exclaim Bravo !

My mind and spirit will not be taken, but be made stronger via this adversity.


Jacob "Jack" Kevorkian May 26, 1928 – June 3, 2011) was an American pathologist, euthanasia activist, painter, author, composer, and instrumentalist.

He is best known for publicly championing a terminal patient's right to die via physician-assisted suicide; he claimed to have assisted at least 130 patients to that end.

He was often portrayed in the media with the name of "Dr. Death"; however, many consider him a hero, as he helped set the platform for reform.

He famously said, "Dying is not a crime".

In 1999, Kevorkian was arrested and tried for his direct role in a case of voluntary euthanasia.

He was convicted of second-degree murder and served eight years of a 10-to-25-year prison sentence.

He was released on parole on June 1, 2007, on condition he would not offer advice nor participate nor be present in the act of any type of suicide involving euthanasia to any other person; as well as neither promote nor talk about the procedure of assisted suicide.

As an oil painter and a jazz musician, Kevorkian marketed limited quantities of his visual and musical artwork to the public.

Michael Tsarion - Psychic Vampirism and the Root of Evil
Published on Sep 26, 2015

The Roots of Evil Exposed: What is a Pyschic Vampire? How do I recognize Him/Her? What do they really want? How do I protect myself? How do I heal? These questions are addressed in this explosive Interview.
More information can be found @ https://www.psychicvampirism.com

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